Give Your Partner Butterflies…

The beginning of a relationship often seems like the best part; everything is new and exciting. You get butterflies just thinking about your new love interest. But the fun doesn’t have to end—long-term relationships don’t have to become boring and stale! With a little bit of extra effort, you can enjoy the deepened intimacy time can bring and keep your relationship from falling into a rut. Try these ten tips to keep the excitement so you never have to lose the butterflies! 

1. Remember what brought out the butterflies in the first place. Was it the way he smelled? Or the excitement of getting his text messages throughout the day? Maybe a certain song always makes you think of your love. Whatever worked for you in the beginning of your relationship is a good place to start. So, go ahead—buy him the cologne you love and make that playlist of your favorite songs.
2. Talk about the good old days. One of the things that makes a long-term relationship so special is the years of memories and experiences you share, so devote some energy to talking about it. Sharing a story that makes you laugh or one of the first moments you felt yourself falling for your partner will make you feel closer immediately and build long-term intimacy.
3. Try something new together. Too much time in the same old routine is bound to get stale. Doing something new together will bring you closer by triggering your brains to release chemicals such as dopamine that make you feel happy. Not sure where to start? Make a list of 5 things you’d like to try—in the bedroom or out—and ask your partner to do the same. Each week, pick one thing from each list and let the fun begin!
4. Focus on the little things. Make a list of all the things you love about your partner, and add to it regularly. Include everything from the way he folds his napkin after dinner to his sense of loyalty to the way he touches your back when he kisses you. The next time he does one of those “little things,” it will make you smile in a whole new way!
5. Put away your “To Do” list. It is far too easy to become roommates and “business partners” instead of lovers and best friends. Take some time to talk about anything but the kids or the house or the car. Forget about what needs to be done tomorrow and focus on enjoying each other today.
6. Go on dates. Call the babysitter and pull out your favorite heels. Date nights shake up everyday routines and give you both something to look forward to. Can’t afford a night out? Wait until the kids are in bed, then slip into something that makes you feel sexy and dab on a little perfume. Spread out a blanket on the floor, open a bottle of wine and share some appetizers. You don’t need to spend a lot to make each other feel special!
7. What made you click so well when you first started dating? Suggestive, sexy text messages? Shared jokes? Wearing your hair the way he loves it, even though it took an extra ten minutes to style? Do it! Take a few minutes to get your partner’s attention and you’ll both feel like you’re falling in love all over again.
8. Make out. And not just when you are hoping to get lucky! Touch tells your brain to release oxytocin, a chemical that makes you feel happy and helps you bond. Regular physical contact —holding hands, cuddling, hugging —makes you feel closer. Bonus: affectionate, non-sexual touching can improve your sex life, too!
9. Get away…from each other. Seriously—a short break will help you both maintain your sense of self. Take that weekend trip with your girlfriends, or just go on a hike by yourself—whatever allows you to return rested, happy, and excited to reconnect.
10. Talk about sex. Everyone is turned on by different things, but talking about sex is a surefire way for both men and women to get in the mood. Whether you’re sharing a fantasy for the future or reliving a great moment from the past, talking about sex will give both of you butterflies!

Take some time to try these tips—with just a little effort, you’ll reap the rewards in a relationship that’s better than ever!

By Carinne Nicosia